


The Golden Snitch

by SupervoidHeart



Category: Doctor Who, Harry Potter - Fandom, Homestuck, Overwatch (Video Game), Sherlock - Fandom, Star Trek, Star Wars - All Media Types, The Hobbit - All Media Types, The Lord of the Rings - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-01
Updated: 2018-03-01
Packaged: 2019-03-25 15:44:48
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 247
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13837932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SupervoidHeart/pseuds/SupervoidHeart
Summary: Long ago, in a time before he even knew He Who Should Not Be Named existed, Harry Potter was posed with a question whose answer would shake the very foundation of his being. Its answer was known to those much older and wiser than himself, but each time the quandary was asked, it was struck down. This is a story about love, adventure, and an ancient curse.





	The Golden Snitch

"You're a boy, Harry," said Hagrid, looming over the much smaller child.

 

"I... really? What gave it away?"

 

"You pee out your clitoris."

 

"My what? Hagrid, what's a clitoris?" The lad looked up at him, inquisitive eyes shielded behind his trademark circular lenses.

 

"I'll tell you when ya get older."

 

And thus, Hagrid's words sparked a burning inquisitiveness in the young Potter. Years passed, and each one, on his birthday, he would ask Hagrid the same question he asked all those years before. "What's a clitoris?"

 

And each time, Hagrid would reply with his same answer. "I'll tell ya when ya get older."

 

Until, finally, on his eighteenth birthday, Harry walked up to the gruff fluff, hands on his hips in determination. "Hagrid, for the last time. What the hell is a clitoris?"

 

Grunting to himself as he pondered, stroking his beard in thought, the older wizard cleared his throat. "Harry, go take a look in Hermione's trousers."

 

The young wizard blushed. Then he thought, debating with himself over the ethical ramifications of violating his friend's personal space. So, that night, when he knew Hermione would be asleep, he crept into her bedroom - she lay upon her bed covered by a nightgown and a pair of underwear. With the deftest of hands, he slid down her panties and stared.

The scream he let loose echoed throughout the halls of Hogwarts, and somewhere, in the dead of the night, a dozing Hagrid smirked to himself in his sleep.


End file.
